Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
