I seem to have left my pride at pride
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
