he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
