happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
