It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
