found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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