you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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