is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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