Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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