so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
