who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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