oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry about my life...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
