so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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