i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
