New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
