New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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