Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
