Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
