I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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