I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize