If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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