glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
