Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
