i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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