He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
