when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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