New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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