She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
