dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
