If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
