Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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