Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
