She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
