All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
