I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you never un-have a 4some
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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