:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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