you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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