how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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