It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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