Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
