Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The Olympian is in my bed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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