Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
