i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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