U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
