is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
