no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
