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I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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