You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
