If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
