For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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